Religious Truth or Humor?
March 24, 1998
ATHEISM: No s–t.
BUDDHISM: “If s–t happens, it really isn’t s–t.”
CALVINISM: S–t happens because you don’t work hard enough.
CATHOLICISM: S–t happens because you are BAD.
CEREMONIAL MAGIC: I can make s–t Happen.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: S–t is only in your mind.
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say: “s–t happens.”
EXISTENSIALISM: What is this s–t anyway?
FUNDAMENTALISM: BIG s–t will happen… SOON!
HARE KRISHNA: S–t happens Rama Rama.
HEDONISM: There’s nothing like good s–t happening.
HINDUISM: This s–t happened before.
ISLAM: “If s–t happens, it is the will of Allah.”
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES: Let us save you from the s–t.
JUDAISM Why does s–t always happen to US?
MOONIES: Only happy s–t really happens.
MORMONISM: If s–t Happens, you have two wives to
blame it on.
NEW AGE: Visualize no s–t happening.
PAGANISM: S–t is a part of the Goddess too!
PROTESTANTISM: S–t won’t happen if I work harder.
QUAKERS: “No s–t here, please.”
RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke some s–t.
SANTERIA: S–t Happens to your goat.
SATANISM: Sneppah T–s.
SCIENTOLOGY: Feces Occurs.
STOICISM: S–t is good for me.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS: No s–t on Saturdays.
TAOISM: S–t happens.
TELEVANGELISM: Send money or s–t will happen to you!
WICCANISM: “Oh s–t, I got that spell wrong again.”
YAWEHS: S–t Happens to white folks.
ZEN: What is the sound of s–t happening?
ZOROASTRIANISM: S–t happens half the time.
The above is a kind of modern folklore.
It has been circulating around for many years,
with various authors adding an item or two.
