ATHEISM: No s–t.

BUDDHISM: “If s–t happens, it really isn’t s–t.”

CALVINISM: S–t happens because you don’t work hard enough.

CATHOLICISM: S–t happens because you are BAD.

CEREMONIAL MAGIC: I can make s–t Happen.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: S–t is only in your mind.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say: “s–t happens.”

EXISTENSIALISM: What is this s–t anyway?

FUNDAMENTALISM: BIG s–t will happen… SOON!

HARE KRISHNA: S–t happens Rama Rama.

HEDONISM: There’s nothing like good s–t happening.

HINDUISM: This s–t happened before.

ISLAM: “If s–t happens, it is the will of Allah.”

JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES: Let us save you from the s–t.

JUDAISM Why does s–t always happen to US?

MOONIES: Only happy s–t really happens.

MORMONISM: If s–t Happens, you have two wives to
blame it on.

NEW AGE: Visualize no s–t happening.

PAGANISM: S–t is a part of the Goddess too!

PROTESTANTISM: S–t won’t happen if I work harder.

QUAKERS: “No s–t here, please.”

RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke some s–t.

SANTERIA: S–t Happens to your goat.

SATANISM: Sneppah T–s.

SCIENTOLOGY: Feces Occurs.

STOICISM: S–t is good for me.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS: No s–t on Saturdays.

TAOISM: S–t happens.

TELEVANGELISM: Send money or s–t will happen to you!

WICCANISM: “Oh s–t, I got that spell wrong again.”

YAWEHS: S–t Happens to white folks.

ZEN: What is the sound of s–t happening?

ZOROASTRIANISM: S–t happens half the time.

The above is a kind of modern folklore.
It has been circulating around for many years,
with various authors adding an item or two.